Okay here it goes... this is going to be (for me) a very emotional post. As you (if anyone even reads this) may have noticed by blogging has nearly ceased and that is for a myriad of reasons but daily I'm reminded of one particular reason. I have learned more in the past 6 months than EVER in my life. I just sit down and think about it and literally begin to weep. Weep because of how long I fought the will of God for my own selfish reasons, waiting for four years before I finally gave up my own justifications of why beauty school would need to take a back seat and how making money in a successful mainstream career would be the best for me though now that I've started beauty school I know it's where I'm supposed to be. I've learned that to love isn't convienent and always the first thing I want to do but it's what ultimately brings me the most joy and God the most Glory. I've learned that I can't control everything or really anything and it ends up sucking me dry of any life and personality rather than giving it to God first thing. I've learned that some struggles never go away and will ALWAYS be prevalent and they will drag you down so far that you don't even see what reality is. I learned it's NOT SEXY to be bony even if you feel sexy. I've learned I'm a woman with curves and not a girl anymore. I've learned it's okay to have some problem areas if you are doing what you love and living PASSIONATELY because at the end of the day when I know I made an impact on someone's life I could care less if I got in the best workout for the day. Some things CAN WAIT. I've learned that life ain't always easy and some days I would love to relax and have a few moments to myself but this is the life I've been given so to complain about it is making it a whole lot harder. I've learned even the people who have it all from the outside, have just as many battles if not more as everyone else. I've learned that the people with the most money seem to be the most unhappy. I've learned that how a woman was brought up my her father affects her body image, self-worth, trust with a man, ability to accept love and every facet of her life. I've learned that it will ALL WORK OUT for the best and to just accept that. Most importantly I've learned that this life goes REALLY fast and I want to do what MATTERS most not what feels right or seems cool. To cease every second I've been given, LAUGH, cry and not to let fear conquer me but PROPEL me.
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| I've learned life ain't so bad with a boyfriend like so. |
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. -Romans 12:1 NLT
