Focus

    This one is a bit more personal than the past few posts. As I was working today I realized FOCUS is what keeps us moving forward, staying sane and not losing sight of this awesome life we've got ahead of us. The very thing that I struggle with the most is the very thing that makes me the happiest. It is something I work for, it does not come naturally and quite frankly the thought of it freaks me out, FOCUS. 

     It didn't strike me today until I was listening to music that I realized how music has this innate ability to capture my attention and put my head in the exact place it needs to be. It's like all the worries that are not in my control but I still stress over are forgotten and placed in their own basket out of reach while I'm living out the current moment. That mindset where you have no choice but to be content, to be so lost in the here and now that your heart is full and satisfied? Focus is not about the WHAT but the WHY. Why do I attend cosmetology school for 11 hours 3 days a week alongside working?  Because the least I can with my passion is serve others, because I know without a doubt this is what God wants me to do, because in the depths of my soul I know there is nothing else I would rather do.... It is the why that wakes me up every morning and allows me to be GLAD for another beautiful day-because I know that it's all part of a grander purpose that will slowly come together.
     Lord knows, I'll need an extra dose of the aforementioned (hint: focus) coupled with four cups (per hour) of coffee this week as I'm packing, shopping, wrapping and mentally preparing for Seattle to go visit the boyfriend and family on Thursday, which I can not wait for! I hope everyone has an awesome week before Christmas!

Baking Christmas Party with some beautiful 

sista-friends

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

      do not depend on your own understanding.

  Seek his will in all you do,

      and he will show you which path to take.

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Season of Giving

Happy Last Sunday before CHRISTMAS! 

     This December has been especially meaningful to me as my life is in a much better place than last year, full of HOPE and JOY for what is, and what is to come!

Every single day I'm blown away by THIS!

Hiking Here!

Eating THIS x 783

Newest Creation;
Scooped out Cinnamon-Raisin bagel
Cream Cheese
Organic Peanut Butter
Nanners
Cinnamon/sugar 
Pure Maple Syrup
= DELICIOUS

+ some organic Strawberry jam

 A la mode a BIG Christmas tree!

 living with Her!

God is GOOD and in this season of giving I am reminded he has given me MORE THAN ENOUGH.

 "For a child is born to us,
      a son is given to us.
   The government will rest on his shoulders.
      And he will be called:
   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
      Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

-Isaiah 9:6

The Way I Are

HELLO Darlings! VERY brief post here! 

Just wanted to say I have so life is really good and never sell it short of that.

We get CRAZY busy and our worlds start spinning and hair starts flying but when we look back at our lives in even a year we'll remember the times we had fun, laughed and were straight up RIDICULOUS. 

He & I, in San Francisco, September 2010

Celebrating 10 months of THIS

Tomorrow! 

Hope y'all have AWESOME days, sucking life dry for what it's worth!

 “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,

      for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs."

-Matthew 5:3.

    

Duh-sers

Good Tidings! (sounds Christmassy eh?!)

     So I was struck with the realization today that I can NOT do it all. Who would of thunk? It's one of the most refreshing experiences to be had. As I'm rushing from point to point subconsciously thinking that scurrying will help I eventually hit a climax, a peak where I realize I'm human. I'm me. It's then and only then that  I can choose to fully enjoy and ponder this life I'm living or be consumed by the dark fog of the world around me. By focusing on what blessings I've been given I can experience peace and joy in trusting that God will never let me fall. His agenda is a heck of a lot more strategic and intelligent than my most intricate plan. You know sometimes the best thing is really just to be dropped on our faces a few times, real hard until we hit that breaking point and begin to realize that the right plan is that there is no plan and we need to be flexible yet diligent in each and every pursuit.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.   -Romans 15:13

      I used to think I was the only one who struggled with all that encompasses this life. The future, the present, our bodies, school, careers, family, social... And then I realized somewhere between going to school with 99% women and working with majority women that we all face it. There is something empowering about a woman who can be real with herself and others.  It's the women who can be open with her imperfections while embracing them, who walks in a room with a glow, who wears clothes that express who she is not who the media says she is,  a woman who speaks up for what is right, takes care of her body, mind and soul,  a woman who gives confidence to other women instead of breaking them down to build themselves up and a woman who is happy to be herself. YOU are this woman. WE are this woman.  Instead of covering up our vulnerabilities and struggles and going through our days in that foggy state, let's truly display our colors, personalities and experiences and enrich one anothers lives while doing so.
  
    Also if any of y'all need a haircut my school is doing an awesome fundraiser for Phoenix Children's hospital this Thursday, December 16 from 10a-12, $5 haircuts and $5 waxing!

Enjoy this lovely Christmassy Season with your favorite people!

Who knows

     I never really know what will slowly take shape across my blank screen at this hour of the night. All I know is that I have a mind and heart full of ideas and I need to write. The days come and go and as the night is coming to a close I begin to reminisce of all I learned, obtained and lost throughout my day, who I let down and how I can learn from that. Today at school I learned how to cut  real mens hair with clippers and shears and was able to practice on my lovely boyfriend and a friend, Tom.  I really am diggin it! It was as if every small snip produced a new add-in to the sculpture. It's different than womens in that precision and texturizing are HUGE.

     More importantly though today I learned how to keep my head where it needs to be. How not to get ate up in the drama and let it capture my essence. It is human nature to fall into the mainstream and that is why focusing on what is important and forgetting what isn't is VITAL to a life worth looking back at going 'Aha!' You have those people who lift you up and make you better at life, who look into the future and go for it and these people are who inspire me to go forward, not neutral or backwards worrying about petty issues. By letting the small stuff roll off the shoulders we are allowing room in our mind and souls to imagine, create and capture life as it should be.

Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. 
-Romans 12:21

Thanks!

     Holy Cow! As I sit and think of all that has happened in the past year and where God has taken me, through storms, trials, highs and lows all I can do is bow my head and Thank the Lord. A year ago I was a 21- year old girl so unsure of where I was going, what I was doing and who I wanted to become. Had God not placed AMAZING people in my life, having FAITH in me and just LOVING me I know I'd still be searching for the direction I were to go with my life. After making some major life decisions and ridding my life of those things leading me astray, I knew it was going to be hard but like I've always said "A life worth livin' ain't easy." Some pretty incredible things have happened this past year or have continued to be awesome such as;

1.  My boyfriend, best friend and a Godly relationship.
           If you would of asked me in January of 2010 if I would be in a relationship this year I would of laughed. Well things change fast and I've been blessed with an awesome guy in my life. It's been almost ten months and the best days of my life! Thank You Andrew!

2.  My School
        Who would think I'd be thankful for such a thing? I absolutely enjoy my school partially because we get do hair and paint nails and partially because the people brighten my day and inspire me! It was voted 'Best School Culture' in America recently, it's truly an honor and privilege to go to such an awesome school.  It's been a dream to attend cosmetology school for many years now and until this point in my life it has been put on hold. I am finally doing something I know that with 100 percent certainty I am made to do. It has been incredible!

3. Friends
      Both old and new friends have been such an integral part of my life more than ever the past three years since moving 2,000 miles from where I spent the first 19 years of my life where my beautiful family resides. They have been real, and told me what I needed to hear instead of what I wanted to hear. The women I have been blessed to have in my life are the greatest ladies I could ever ask for. They inspire me, and make me want to be selfless, loving and courageous. They display a kind of love I thought was only possibly from a mother. They broke every premonition I had about girls and have shown me what real women are. I would not be living here following the desires of my heart had these ladies not reached out and shown me they cared for me.

4. My Mom
      Everyday I thank God for the mother who raised me. She taught me what it looks like to not quit and work hard for everything. She showed me that life is what you make it to be, that it's not about being perfect but having fun with what you are given. She believed in me and I am ever thankful for that. She shows me what it looks like to love Jesus with all your heart.

This is from August 2008 I believe but you get the idea ha :)

5. My Body
     After beating up, depriving and abusing my body I have realized more than anything I'm so blessed and thankful for it! It doesn't need to be my enemy but how awesome is it that the more respect I give it, the more it gives back.

Most of all I am thankful for ALL of you, each making a mark on my life!

the REAL DEAL

Alright here's one straight from the heart. We have our bodies for the rest of our lives and we are blessed to be on this Earth with them. I personally and I feel as though it's a common theme throughout our society and age group to forget that our bodies are more than just physical appeal and actually require time and work so we are the most beneficial here on Earth. Lately with being on my feet for 12-14 hours a day I will forget to eat or drink water, and load up on the coffee. It's actually really selfish for us (women especially do this) to forget of purposefully not eat. We can't expect to serve anyone, let alone be a good daughter, mother, worker, friend if we can't even take care of the very thing that allows us to serve others.

IT IS MORE THAN JUST AN OBJECT OF BEAUTY. It is a gift from GOD to be used to further his kingdom and show others LOVE. Where have we lost sight of that? Maybe somewhere between media shoving films with skinny girls eating junk as their primary source of fuel and magazines telling us how many calories to eat. EXCUSE me but there is not a single person who requires the exact same requirements nutritionally or physically. There are people COUNTING on YOU. Don't do it to your body, don't ruin it day by day, little by little eating away at it.

This is coming from a heart that finally realized the implications of my actions tonight. I FORGOT to eat at work and my blood sugar was so low I was dilusional and couldn't even function. It struck me how my actions are selfish. Ok sure, maybe I forgot to eat but what if my body just forgot to start working one day?  I'd be devastated.  I was blessed with a body and I need to treat it like I care.

It's time to live beautifully, caring for our bodies and those who we will love and care for with them!

New Name, New Game

Hello Y'all!
  I've been brainstorming and today I decided I need to revamp and focus more on what is rocking my world right now and giving me JOY to the utmost or should I say what I have been blessed to be able to do, HAIR, beauty and all that are involved in that realm of my life. I started Cosmetology school in September 2010 and I currently about one-fifth of the way completed, but feel like I have been doing it for years and couldn't be happier! I feel selfish keeping all that I'm learning and all that is going on to myself so I am making a promise to myself and anyone who reads this that I will update, post pictures and quirky little moments, facts I learn on here! Not only have I learned cosmetology, beauty industry, Bumble and Bumble PK (product knowledge) but I have learned more than ever about communication, myself, how people react and interact and how to suck it up and get through the hard stuff. I can say I could not have done this without first and foremost, God and his constant blessings and peace, my mother who has encouraged and supported me all the while, my boyfriend who keeps me focused and encourages me, my beautiful sisters (you know who you are) who keep me on my toes and understand that I am not neglecting our friendships but have a purpose and goal to fulfill and everyone else who are the reason I am going into this field, to serve them and bring joy and hope to their lives.

I will be updating this with my first real post shortly and can't wait to get back into this!

Love you all!

quick fix

Goodness gracious how my heart remembers the days of blogging consistently where life guaranteed at least a few open hours a night and things could be planned last minute. Well seasons come and go and we will call the current season: FULL FORCE. Between starting cosmetology school, moving, working, weddings, running, and everything in between blogging kind of gets lost in the shuffle. I have learned more the past two months than probably my entire life; showing me what I need to work on and what I'm rockin at. More than anything I'm learning what I really need to get anywhere in life- who I need. There is so much I want to share and will indefinitely when I get a chance, which I will make sure is soon.

Overall I have learned that it is so easy to settle and walk with the rest of the world. Most days its what I want to do but to really make a mark and speak truth takes work, its draining and some days really tough but the only way to truly LIVE and experience what God designed for us.

Love & prayers your way.

Pesudo-Entitlement.

Is it just me or is September an awesome month?! Not too cold (for those that live in the north) but not too hot (for those that live in the South), not to mention that there are birthday's galore! I think the autumn leaves are stunning too, since I live in a desert now my desktop background serves that purpose and does a dang good job! Well this post is going to be a record breaking quicky but maybe that's for the better of everyone.

Minnesota Autumn-ness

I often find myself frustrated and angry over a way I was treated or not treated. I will pour my heart out into the well being of others to help them and get nothing in return. I wonder if what I am doing by helping people is right or even beneficial to them at all? This morning it struck me we were not made to be served but to serve others. I am not made to be treated any certain way, rather that is a byproduct of how we live and treat others. We are served every single day by a God who does a whole lot more than help a friend out every now and then. Yea that lady just cut me off and that sales rep was a complete jerk but suck it up and MOVE ALONG. To truly serve is to live to give expecting nothing tangible in return. Having a servants heart produces blessings and joy far greater than any self-served act.

On a health front, Vitamins are amazing! A few weeks ago I stopped taking this bad-boy briefly because I ran out:

OH MY GOSH! They have made me feel so much better and made my skin

glowing again!

Caution: They do make you FIERCE.

²⁶ But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, ²⁷ and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. ²⁸ For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

-Matthew 20:26-28 (New Living Translation)

You Do It Right

Doesn't it always seem August goes about Mach 10? If I said a lot has been happening lately It'd be an understatement. I have been yearning for a good write and today even though the to-do list just keeps getting longer I gave in. In the past few weeks I have finally decided on a cosmetology school and will be starting in 2 weeks, gained a roomie/sista!!!, bought a new car (only my 2nd car ever and I'm almost 22), found a new place to live at in a month for us 3 ladies (they are my sistas and I could not ask for better roomies) and numerous other small things that have been fun but keeping this gal busy! That is not a complaint by any means as I'm wired to be a buy bee but it's just undermining the fact that organization is the key to success and the only way I will not lose my marbles is staying focused on what matters most and not doing it all!

Here is a pic of a fun night with one of my awesome roomstas!

D-backs won 4-3 in 10th inning!

Lifting is beginning to show it's work (since I had virtually NO muscle) and my appetite is that of a monster. I usually go the gym 2-3 (about 30 minutes each) times a week and run whenever I can since running is my alone time and keeps my sanity most days! It's really about balance, there is not perfect formula as to what is best. It's personal and I have to remind myself of that when I feel like I should be doing more or less of a exercise or eating how so& so does, just as our needs change mentally and emotionally and are different to those around us, same goes for our physical and physiological needs. With that being said I do believe physical and emotional are connected and if running or going to the gym evoke stress and negativity then find something else!

Being at the gym too much or too long gives me a judgmental spirit and I've noticed this in the past month. I noticed I had started to think negative thoughts about others that did not reflect the person I am or want to be. Sure maybe others are not in the best shape or what have you but then again who is? Who determines what is ideal?

For me being for a prolonged period of time in an environment where a concentrated group of body-conscious individuals reside I develop unrealistic expectations for real people. Since I am a visual thinker and observe and take in every detail this way, for me it has meant going to the gym with an intentional mindset. Not comparing or critiquing anyone else and if I do reminding myself we are all made differently and beautifully in God's image.

We need to do what is right for us and not anyone else. We rock at who we are, how much more encouraging can that be?! No matter how bad we think we do we still rock at our lives! There is only ONE of you. We get to paint where and what we'd like our our beautiful canvas created by a beautiful creator!

Here is a photo that an awesome lady and friend took of some sweet gals and I!

Love you all so much and praying that you will never doubt who you are and how you go about it!

² Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. -Romans 12:2 NLT

Seemingly Sporadic

The past few weeks have been exciting and spontaneous. I live for spontaneity and have no problems with it but this has taken it to a whole new level. Also I have began trying to incorporate more strength training into my life and though at first I was way disliking it, but I have finally found a good balance of what works for me. The trainer at the gym helped a lot also, he gave me an "endurance training" workout and I have been using it and enjoying it! Its basically doing each machine and/or exercise at a comfortable yet resistant weight doing about three reps of 15. Each person is different but I've just been hitting pretty much every muscle group and doing it quick, it's given me good results and takes me about 30 minutes and I usually do it 2-3 times a week. I have been SUPER hungry though which I was fighting at first then figured out I just needed to fuel with the right foods aka more protein.

Saturday was the Mr. Awesome and I's six month anniversary and wow! Talk about life in the fast lane. The past six months have flown by and have brought so much JOY. He put flowers and my favorite clif bar outside my door and later picked me up and we went up north to SEDONA, one of the most beautiful places on Earth!!! We ate at an AMAZING Mexican restaurant there.

Good stuff

and ate this:

Homemade Corn chips, salsa, carnitas (him)

&

chicken enchiladas with rice and beans!

followed by this:

Chocolate Mexican Ice Cream with raspberries.

Classic b&w

We walked around the town and enjoyed the 20 degree temperature drop and GREENERY!

Sunday at church Dr. Wayne Grudem spoke as was discussing Proverbs 4:23 "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life". This has been one of my favorite verses since around my freshman year after I began re-committing my life to Jesus! He talked about how our heart is our whole inner moral, spiritual life and our deepest convictions. He said something that I have been struggling with lately and that is that there may be times when we need to let go of good things because it is not part of our greater life plan. I was also reminded of how easily my heart can be deceived. Yes it is good but that doesn't mean there isn't room for any world influences to seep in and deceive us.

Though life can often seem sporadic and unorganized. That is what makes it so beautiful. God has a much more intricate, alluring piece of art painted for my life than any figment of my imagination. Yes, even that flat tire on my way to work is another colorful stroke to the masterpiece!

Catch Up

I know lately I've been slacking on the health and hair portion of this blog. It hasn't slipped my mind or I haven't completely lost my marbles yet (who's to judge that right?!) Really and truly so much has been revealed to me lately and I've trying out new ideas in the fitness realm that I've really had to take a step back and evaluate my life and what I want to make of it. But despite the circumstances I was able to go to one of my favorite places today and purchase ALL of this:

For... $20.00!!! Yes, amazing.

Nothing like a little produce pick me-up. Fresh blueberries, raspsberries, watermelon (yes I ate that within .05 seconds) and some Voskos greek yogurt... My eats have been far from phenomenal lately, that will be changing starting now. Summer just gets whirlwind crazy but then again when isn't life crazy?!

A lot on my heart lately and so much I've learned but that will have to wait for another post in the very near future! Hope and pray everyone is enjoying summer and sucking every day dry for what it's worth!

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

-Matthew 11:28-29

LOVE YOU & BLESSINGS!

Well Esteemed

Having a low self esteem is to simply slap my creator in the face with a 2x4 and call it crap. Blunt? Of course! When I am struggling with how I look, my body, hair, clothes or any other aesthetic characteristic that is out of my control, I am telling the same creator of this universe he has failed, the one who so intricately designed me before my mother knew who I was, The One who made me BEAUTIFULLY perfect in his image, who did not use ONE template and design variations but instead made ONE ME and called me PERFECT. Unlike me he didn't need 18 tries before he found the right look. He took one shot and nailed it. Why do I think my idea of beauty is so much better than his? It's like I get frustrated with the way, He the PERFECT ONE made me when he should be getting frustrated with me that I even think there is another option to what I look like.

It's not about having smaller this and bigger that, prettier those and brighter these. It's about embracing what we have been given. Sure we all have failures but let's not allow the world to shape what those aesthetic failures are. Let's deal with what we have been given and cherish that! We (at least I sure do!) have enough issues going on within myself why in the world bring on more stress and failure of what we perceive to be beautiful outside? It's a perpetual cycle of self destruction and I am sick of allowing a fable to run my emotions and relationships. Every single physical change I have changed and achieved does NOT magically make me feel beautiful. It's knowing the fact that nothing and everything will make me beautiful. Nothing the world can give me yet everything I already have. Yes, I have failures and yes I have a whole heck of a lotta junk in my heart I need to work through in order to make any impact in this world and keep solid relationships but I do not have aesthetic failures and I was made perfectly in his image. You might not think I'm pretty but I don't care. You might think I'm gorgeous and that's fine.

At the end of the day even when I'm doubting my self image, what assures me I am in fact beautiful is knowing there is not one single person who looks like me because he created ME PERFECTLY.

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Real

Ok this is going to be a bit well REAL. As a woman I have had enough of the fake, competitive, snotty, "I'm better than you's" type mentality, attitude and personality at it's greatest. We all suffer, we all have body image issues, we are all uncertain about what the future holds and we are all taken advantage of no matter how much we stomp our feet. Instead of putting on a facade and acting like everything is okay or we are totally secure and confident, why not be REAL and AUTHENTIC and show our personality for what God created it to be? After all his ways are perfect and blameless and clearly mine are not.

God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

Psalm 18:30

Everything from the way we dress to the way we treat people is a much deeper issue. We are women and we are wired emotionally, we express what is in our hearts from the inside out. It's like the smoker who has tar built up in his lungs and when he coughs heavily, black phlegm is coughed out. Just like lungs, our hearts accumulate dark resin that will build up unless we take care of it. By hiding what is going on in our lives and putting on a front we are just visually displaying a symptom of far greater issues. Sure, there are things that the whole world doesn't need to know in detail but reality is we live in a dark, hurting world that is dealing with the same crap we are all dealing with.

I myself, find myself flipping into default mode and acting like life is great and everything is ok when things get tough because as women that is our "job". We lighten the mood up, we bring joy and we give compassion to those around us. By not allowing myself to be real and authentic I am being unfair to those around me and selfish to my own insecurities. Sure I might be judged, looked down upon or never talked to again but with 100% certainty I can say I have never once regretted being real, genuine and truthful. The Lord each and every time I have broken down that tough outer shell has absolutely worked through me and his love was highlighted. His love is UNCONDITIONAL, FREE and LIMITLESS. How selfish am I to not share my own heart, life and trials with others due to my own insecurities or fears?

Is anyone thirsty?

Come and drink—

even if you have no money!

Come, take your choice of wine or milk—

it’s all free!

Isaiah 55

I pray for every single women, girl and female that feels insecure, inadequate and unworthy. I pray we will be able to be real with each other and not let what the world has deemed as 'unacceptable' become an outline for our hearts but rather let the unconditional, incomparable love of Christ be our guideline and life path.

People

Upon opening my mail today and reading that my license had been suspended due to a miscommunication and racing to the court to talk to the judge before they were closed for the weekend, then being told I owe a large sum of money due to something that was not my fault and breaking down in the lobby and the police station in front of everyone in their brother, only to be told that my court hearing is a week away and that I had to go half way across town to the MVD before they closed, I was struck with the realization that when we die and finish this rat race the only thing we will have left are the people we impacted and the experiences we had. Not just the people that are close to us but those people who are hurting more than we ever will. Yearning for just a simple smile. None of the chaos or money on this Earth will be brought with us. None of the hurt, pain, tears, agony will be brought with us when we go to HEAVEN.

Though I am enduring trials beyond my power, it is showing me just how weak I am. How powerless and unfaithful I am. Comfort is easy, strain and pressure is not easy. A life worth living is not easy. I will have the rug ripped beneath my feet, I will have money taken from my hand and I will have all comfort taken away but those things that really matter will always remain and the circumstances around me will never change that.

It's the small things

Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Separation

I have noticed more and more lately that people distinguish themselves by their diet (from Merriam-webster it's defined as; food or drink regularly provided or consumed of choice.) Sure I think it's great to be Vegan or Vegetarian or Flexitarian or what have you. (Just for the record, I have been all three and didn't think one was any better just a matter of physical needs for various seasons of life). None of them pose problems it's when it becomes the identifying factor of a person's life that it's an issue. I HATE (yes I used that word which is very rare) to see beautiful women become consumed by a particular diet. If it defines who you are and you feel lost without having this label than it's stealing your joy and who you are. I know this because I have done it and been there far longer than I would want anyone to have to endure.

We are made to be creative individuals, bringing glory to God and JOY to others through that. When we are so rigidly following guidelines and writing off certain situations or people because they don't fit into our little box plan we are not using that creativity and the potential God gifted us with. It is about priorities and if food is becoming a higher priority than those that rank higher well then somethings gotta give. Though I want to have it all (God (church),clean diet, running, yoga, strength, boyfriend, frie

nds, job, school) it is impossible to always have it all. I have learned that more than ever in the past two months and you know what I have finally accepted it and it feels REALLY GOOD. I have tapped into a JOY I had forgotten about because I'm not stressing and overwhelmed with doing too much and instead doing what really matters in the end.

It's as simple yet profound as prioritizing every task we do into what and who really matters the most. Sure it might just be a once a week missed dinner with friends or one hour less with a girlfriend on a Friday night for a run but that one hour may be just what was needed and they may have just the perfect words for a current struggle. It's all about weighing and balancing it out. God will continue to bless as we put what matters most first. For me it has meant, being on a schedule to allow time for what is important, somedays I

don't have time for exercise or making a healthy home cooked dinner that night and other times I have to say no to a social activity and have some me time during a nice long run but in the end it's all worth it and I never regret it because I did what I knew was the most important and beneficial to those around me.

So basically what I'm trying to say is never ever let the beauty and joy of food and life be stole by the evil of rigidity and guidelines made up by You and Me. Ultimately you are the decider of how, what and when you eat so you are your own gui

delines therefore you never fail therefore your JOY remains.

According to my favorite Bible, The New Living Translation (NLT) in James 1:2 it says; 2 Dear brothers and sisters,* when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. No matter what comes our way, we are capable of having joy and NOTHING can take that away.

Disclaimer: I am by no means perfect and I have been struggling with this which is why I am writing about it.

A quality eat I DEVOURED this weeked

PB & Tart FROYO w/ many unmentionables...

Love and Blessings!

The right kind of wrong

Today was one of those days were I was doin' my thang being Miss Independent from the moment I awoke. I had a list of things that NEEDED to be done and there wasn't anything in the world that was going to stop me. Those days where you just don't care about anything. You tell it how it is and move along. The world is spinning and you are just truckin along making your mark as you go. Telling those you love how you feel and letting those you don't live happily ever after hoping for their best.

I went on my run this morning and it was an utter FAIL. I made it about ONE mile and had to stop... I decided "OH WELL". You lose some, you win some. This one ain't a 'W' that's for sure, unless you mean walk of course. I went to the gym later and couldn't find an ounce of energy in me to do anything. I was in a haze and it felt GOOD. REALLY GOOD.

It's awesome to just have those days where you aren't sure about anything at all but realize the present is right here, right now and it needs to be SEIZED. I'm done worrying about how others feel, what tomorrow will look like, when I will have a career, where I will live and just overanalyzing what is to come.

To boot the kind of day I was having naturally 'Ramona & Beezus' with my lovely Mister was the only answer to all life's problems! This movie had an awesome underlying theme; live for the moment and be crazy, out of order, opinionated and persistent all while treating others with respect and honor. What a cute flick!

Today; I ate movie theatre buttered popcorn, only ran 1.5-2 miles, barely lifted at all, ate cereal way too late, didn't clean my room and forgot to call people BUT I was able to EMBRACE the day and take in what really matters.

At the end of the day I am reminded God is good and everything he has ever done, ever created or thought of is good!

You are good and do only good; teach me your decrees Psalm 119:68

Fresh

Welp since it's sort of a new beginning.. new name= new beginning right?! I think so! Anyways, I figured I'd start with some of my favorites. Of course food will be involved.

As of late my favorite lunch/dinner/snack staple has been these puppies



with some of this

I've also been eating this consistently every morning;

This Vegan Overnight Oats Recipe is straight up from Mrs. Angela! What a wonderful lady she is with all her awesome recipes!

Not food related at all. I was asked recently to be a hair model for a friend at a salon in Phoenix for a Bumble & Bumble hair demo. They ended up cutting off 6-8 inches (yeaaaa quite a bit and the bf was a little apprehensive about that one but he's okay with it now). For doing the demo I got all kind of free product from Bumble & Bumble and I now understand just HOW AMAZING their line really is. One of my favorites is the 'Thickening Hairspray', it's an instant face lift to limp, mousy hair.

I was reminded of a great verse yesterday and it reads;

You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees- Psalm 119:68.

Even when I don't get what I want it still doesn't change the fact that God is good and even though it appears to be mean, unfair and so inconvenient it does NOT change the fact that everything God has ever done and will ever continue to do is GOOD, wonderful and PERFECT. It's like I forget that he died for my sins and PAID MY DEBTS. I am FREE only through him. It is not entitlement but a gift of LOVE. He just rocks and still loves me even when I am a complete snot acting like I deserve the world. I pray that we as children of God will realize he truly loves us and is always seeking out our best interest.

His LOVE.

I just can NOT get over how AWE-SOMLY, great Jesus is. I am a SINNER. Not just like a normal SINNER but a BAD one. Yet to think he still throws his arms open to comfort me when I so decide that I'm fed up with living for this world rather than his perfect will. I was just struck with this today as I was reading through Luke 15 and the Prodigal Son.

On other fronts. Starting some strength training today... It's been oh way too long. I run like a mad woman, well maybe not as much as in the winter and spring since 110 degree weather kind of puts a hinderance on anytime, free-for-all running. I was allowing running to rule my life. Social activities were put on the shelf until RUNNING was done. I'm just trying to find that balance, because I do ENJOY every minute of running (well most of the time) and it is my quiet time.I made this delicious little combo a few days back... Some Chocolate Oats with Blueberries.

Just threw in some 1/2 c/ Almond milk, 1 TBSP Cocoa powder, Sweet N Low (eeek, I know I'm consuming rat poison), 1/2 c. water threw it in the blender then microwaved from about 3 minutes , a la mode Blueberries and in the fridge for some beauty sleep. In the morning: added PB Of course & DEVOUR.

With that being said TODAY can be nothing but GLORIOUSLY AMAZIN'!!!

addiction & i don't want help

I like to run. Most days I'd rather run than do anything else at all. When my day is not going as desired, Oh I'll just run it off. When my day is going great and energy is flowing out my ears, Oh I'll just run. When I can't get a run in, I want to sleep so I can wake up and run. I hate missing a day of running and usually it affects my mood. I eat around my running schedule and I plan my day around my running. I save my money for my running events and shoes. Running is my therapy session and my punching bag. It is my release and my inspiration. It is my outlet and blanket. It makes me cry and makes me laugh. I get excited to run and I get annoyed. The most intimate relationship I hold is forefront of my mind when I'm hitting the pavement, while I'm praying and speaking openly with my creator, Jesus Christ.

Running is Jesus' time of ridding my heart of DIRT. That hour or so of just focusing on him and all his blessings can not be heard or bought through anyone and that is what makes running my DRUG. A spiritual, physiological, emotional, physical NEED. Thank You Jesus for blessing me with the 5 hours or 30ish miles per week I can have with you.

Beauty

Why do I fail when i don't feel beautiful? Why do I believe perfection exists in how I look? I will never be perfect and the only one who can see perfectly is GOD, I cry when my hair is colored differently than I envisioned and realize then and there that beauty is in the eye of the CREATOR. Though I see myself as hideous, unworthy and not pretty- he sees me as an empty canvas waiting to be adorned with colors and designs.
I want to be skinny
I want to be flawless
i want to be sparkling

I will never live up to my own expectations and by striving to perfection I will only break my own heart. I will continually fall short of my own glory and will only glorify God.

Only through him do I see beauty. He fills me up, satisfies me and brings me joy. All I need is his love.

What We Surround ourselves with defines the parameters of our imagination.

I've been reading 'Wide Awake' by Erwin McManus, I'd highly recommend it. It completely turns your mind around. Well anyways, today I was reading through it and after reading about How God and our imagination are one in the same was struck with the fact that our minds are ultimately what we surround ourselves with. We wonder why you can find "tools" galore in Scottsdale, it's because everyone surrounds themselves with each other and of course the imaginative juices aren't going to be flowing. I've noticed my creative side being completely replenished since switching jobs! My eyes have been opened to so many things and my parameters are no longer defined to the one space I was occupying 3 days a week for 8 hours a day. I now understand why I love the outdoors so much. The possibilities are endless. There are always things I didn't notice or know about prior to that experience.

Life can not be done with out creativity. Everyone is creative. We might show it in different ways but God made us uniquely in his image and that makes us therefore creative. In order to fulfill our God-given potential for life we need to be in tune with what it is that makes us tick and serve humanity with our heart and soul. Passion is what makes us joyful about life and live the way God intended us to.

This is just a 'Aha!' moment I had a bit ago and couldn't resist writing about it.